


deliver my sincerity

by fairyhwangs



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Confessions, First Kiss, Fluff, Hongjoong is only mentioned, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-22 17:41:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17667131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairyhwangs/pseuds/fairyhwangs
Summary: Jongho finally has a way to put his love of books to use, but it doesn't work out in the way that he originally had planned.





	deliver my sincerity

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first ateez fic, and i think this might be the first jongsang fic too?? anyways, i hope that y'all have as much fun reading this as i did writing it! also a big thank you to kelly ( [ her twitter ](https://twitter.com/taerunsmylife) , [ her ao3 ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/taerunsmylife) )  
> for being my beta and follow me on [ twitter ](https://twitter.com/jjunglooks) :))
> 
> the title was taken by got7's confession song (which is also used later in the story)
> 
> btw, this fic was inspried by that code name is ATEEZ episode where they were on the bus before going to the waterpark because jongho and yeosang were just being too cute, i had too
> 
> edited 6/20/2019

Yeosang was so exhausted. The team had a very fun, but long day at the waterpark and he was just ready to collapse into his bed. He sunk into the soft sheets and pulled them over his head, relishing in their comfort and warmth. Opening his phone, he turned on some chill music, hoping it’ll help him relax. He set it on the nightstand and closed his eyes, embracing the soft melody floating throughout the room. Right as Yeosang felt himself drifting to sleep, he heard a soft knock on his door. It was so quiet that he could barely hear it over the music. He blinked, eyes heavy from almost falling asleep. Who would want to come see him at this hour? He pulled his head up from underneath the sheets, almost whimpering from the loss of warmth. He heard those faint knocks again, and muttered a quiet, “come in.” The door opened and revealed Jongho, which surprised Yeosang. He was usually so bright and full of energy, so the soft knock was surprising coming from him.

“Yeosang…” He spoke quietly.

“Yeah?” He responded, sitting upright. Jongho moved closer, until he was sitting at the foot of Yeosang’s bed.

Jongho looked down, and seemed to be fiddling with his hands. Yeosang had never really seen him this nervous before. 

“I just- I wanted to make sure you were okay…” He said cautiously.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Yeosang cocked his head curiously. 

“From today… I slapped you kinda hard,” Jongho said slowly. 

“I mean, you slapped everyone kinda hard,” Yeosang let out a light laugh. Jongho gave him a disapproving look, wanting a real answer. 

“I’m fine, I can take a little pain.”

He remembered earlier that day, when they were on the bus to the waterpark, they all played that game where they had to make acrostic poems according to the syllables given. Yeosang was nervous for his turn, but was comforted in the way Jongho brought his hand to reassuringly massage Yeosang’s thigh, letting him know that it will be okay. He wasn’t sure why, but the gesture made his heart flutter. Unfortunately, Yeosang did not succeed in his task, which led to the inevitable forehead slap by Jongho. It was kinda scary how strong he was, but also amazing at the same time. 

“Are you sure? It seriously looked like part of your soul was leaving your body.”

Yeosang couldn’t help but smile at that. “Yes, I’m sure. My soul is still intact.” He saw Jongho’s lips tilt upwards, and his smile grew even bigger. 

Jongho looked tense, like he was stopping himself from moving any closer. 

“Will you tell me if it’s ever too much? I know I can sometimes get swept up in the moment when we play games like these.” 

“I will, don’t worry.”

“I can’t help but worry.” 

“Please don’t. I can take care of myself. I really don’t want you to feel bad, please.”

Jongho shifted slightly, unable to stay still any longer. He brought up a hand to Yeosang’s face so he could brush the hair out of his eyes. His gaze held so much affection, and Yeosang once again was filled with surprise. He rarely saw Jongho like this. 

“I’m sorry, Jongho. You don’t need to feel guilty about any of this. I’m really sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?” Jongho moved his hand away from his face and into his hair, running his fingers through the soft, pink strands. Yeosang leaned into his touch while simultaneously shrinking into him in an attempt to make himself seem smaller. 

“I feel bad for making you feel bad…” 

Jongho retreated his hand from Yeosang’s hair. He looked at him with an emotion that was unreadable.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Yeosang asked curiously. 

Jongho silently stood up and grabbed Yeosang’s hand. He beckoned Yeosang to come with him, letting his actions speak instead of his words. Yeosang got up, albeit reluctantly because he didn’t want to leave the warmth of his bed. Because he was still so exhausted, it took almost all of his remaining strength to stand. Jongho was helping him, pulling him along and out of the room. 

Yeosang trailed behind Jongho, stumbling. He held onto Jongho’s hand like his life depended on it. He was led outside, and finally understood where they were going. There was a beautiful park next to the dorms. He had never visited it at night, so it looked so different, almost eerie. It wasn’t a bad kind of different, it was as gorgeous as it was during the day. There was a faint glow outlining the flowers and cool gusts of wind shook the trees, leaves fluttering delicately down to the ground. Jongho finally stopped when they reached a bench near the center of the park, although he didn’t let go of Yeosang’s hand. The minute they stopped, Yeosang collapsed forward onto Jongho, his exhaustion catching up to him. 

“I’m so sorry, Jongho,” Yeosang exclaimed, pulling himself up. “‘m just a lil’ tired,” he tried to say while yawning. 

“No, it’s okay. Lean on me,” Jongho responded. Yeosang hesitantly rested his head on Jongho’s shoulder, taking in all the scenery that was in front of them. 

“Look up at the stars,” Jongho said quietly. Yeosang looked up. The sky was so beautiful. The moon was full tonight, lighting up the otherwise dark sky. Stars were scattered around it. “Now look at me.” Yeosang then looked at Jongho. He was still gazing at the night sky. However, it was strange. That untraceable emotion was back, Yeosang could see it in his eyes. “Do you notice anything?”

“The way you’re looking at the stars… It’s the same way you looked at me.”

“And?”

“I don’t know. What is this supposed to mean to me?”

Jongho sighed. “It didn’t go this way in the book…” He muttered under his breath.

“What do you mean? What book?”

“You were supposed to understand what I meant. In the book, that’s what happened. Why didn’t it work?” Jongho groaned, a small pout forming on his lips.

“What did you want to happen? What am I supposed to know?” Yeosang asked gently, wanting to understand the younger boy. Wanting to make him happy.

“I don’t know how to use words. That’s why the book was supposed to help me. But it didn’t work.” 

“What is it supposed to help you do?”

Jongho wasn’t paying attention, as he was muttering, “what do I do,” repeatedly to himself. All of a sudden, he straightened up, a light bulb going off in his brain. Yeosang almost fell over to the side, as his head was no longer being supported by Jongho’s shoulder.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Yeosang! I should be more careful.”

“Yeah, that would be good,” he replied, regaining his bearings with a gentle laugh. 

“I can sing.”

“I know you can sing? You’re the main vocalist?”

“That’s not what I meant! I mean, I’ll sing you a song.”

“Why?” Confusion lacing Yeosang’s voice.

“I can’t explain. The song will. Since I can’t use my own words, I’ll use the words of the song.” Jongho went to sit back down and looked straight ahead. 

“Go ahead,” Yeosang said quietly, watching Jongho with a fond look on his face.

“Hundreds of confessions without success  
I feel so unconfident should I just go back?  
I say I’ll confess for sure  
But it’s pointless with no actions in the end  
Can’t keep my head up in front of you  
I’m in love with you, why are these words so hard?"

Yeosang could barely believe it. Jongho was confessing to him? Jongho loved him? Since when?

"I keep hesitating to say over and over again  
Why is it so hard just to write a simple letter?  
I keep writing and tearing it over and over again."

He’s been wanting to say this for awhile… 

"You may not feel the same way as I do  
I may never see you again,  
That’s what I’m afraid of  
Don’t have the courage to tell you  
With this song let me open my heart to you."

Don’t be afraid. 

"I love you, baby I,  
I love you (for a very long time)  
I love you, baby I,  
I love you (I do)."

You really love me?

"All day long I wait for your reply  
I keep writing and erasing to make sure  
There’s no mistake in my words  
I accidentally say things that I don’t mean  
The dramatic lines that I practiced in front of the mirror  
Are all forgotten when I stand in front of you, flustering me  
My hands hesitate in front of yours."

This is why you couldn’t use your words… you thought you would mess up?

"My heartbeat sound getting louder,  
You might hear it, yeah  
You may not feel the same way as I do  
I may never see you again, that’s what I’m afraid of  
Don’t have the courage to tell you  
With this song let me open my heart to you."

I feel the same way. Don’t you hear my heartbeat too?

"I love you, baby I,  
I love you (for a very long time)  
I love you, baby I,  
I love you (I do)."

"My heart beats like a drum  
My arms just wait for the day to hug you tight  
My calendar just waits for the day marked red  
My confession just waits for my courage  
Though I am still a timid fool  
I hope this song I wrote for countless nights  
Delivers my sincerity  
Take one side of the earphone in your hand  
Shall we?"

I hear your sincerity.

"I love you, baby I,  
I love you (for a very long time)  
I love you, baby I,  
I love you (I do).”

Jongho finished singing, taking in a deep, shakey breath. 

“Do you understand now?” Jongho asked, finally looking back into Yeosang’s eyes. It looked like he was scared to see how he reacted. 

“I do… I guess I didn’t realize it until now…” 

“Realize what?”

“I love you too.”

“You… do?” Jongho was surprised.

“I didn’t truly realize that I did until you sang this song. Whenever you touch me, my heart flutters, and when you leave, it aches. Whenever I spend time with you, I feel more at ease. I can feel myself be less reserved than usual. It’s you. I love you.”

“I thought for sure that you were going to reject me…” Jongho said right before he wrapped his arms around Yeosang’s waist, pulling him closer. Yeosang breathed him in, snuggling his head into Jongho’s neck. 

“Is this why you wanted to make sure I was okay? I know for sure that you didn’t go over to Hongjoong to ask if he was that hurt by your slap,” Yeosang asked. 

“Maybe…” 

After what seemed like an eternity, Jongho finally let go. “I have one more question,” Yeosang stated. 

“What is it?”

“What kind of books do you read?” 

Jongho flushed a deep shade of red. 

“It was just this romance book I found… I like reading a lot so I thought maybe it could give me ideas on how to confess to you. You asked me why I looked at you that way. I thought if I showed you that I look at the stars in the same way, that you would see that you are the stars to me.”

Yeosang almost melted right there. “Me… your stars?”

“You shine as bright as one.”

Yeosang couldn’t resist. He leaned forward and captured Jongho’s lips with his. Jongho was initially surprised, but quickly melted into the kiss. Jongho tasted like cotton candy, as sweet as the kiss itself. 

Jongho disconnected the kiss, taking a deep breath. He then decided to kiss Yeosang everywhere. On his nose, his cheeks, his eyebrows, his forehead, and especially his birthmark. “Yeosang… I need you to know that I love every part of you, including your birthmark”

“You do?” Yeosang had always been self-conscious about it, hiding it away with makeup as often as he could 

“It’s one of my favorite things about you. It makes you look even more beautiful.” 

“And you said you weren’t good with words.” 

Jongho placed one last chaste kiss on Yeosang’s lips. 

“I’m not. I'm just speaking the truth.” 

“This is so… strange. I’m not used to you saying stuff like this.”

Jongho shrugged, a smirk adorning his face. “I have my charms.”

They finally began to walk back to the dorms, hand in hand. 

“Hey, Jongho.”

“Yeah?”

“Shall we date?”

“I hate you so much.” 

Yeosang laughed, loudly and uninhibited.

“I will go grab that couch again, don’t test me.”

“How about we make out on that couch instead?”


End file.
